Billy Bob Fan Humor - Friday Night Fever

Friday Night Fever, the surprise hit of the season starring Oscar winner Billy Bob Thornton as THE KING.

(Special sneak preview trailer)

INTERIOR SHOT: BINGO HALL

The hall is crowded and the patrons are sitting at long tables. All are armed with bingo cards; some have several in hand. The more serious players have their own bingo chips that they take out of customized boxes. There is an expectant air about the bingo gamers and even though a game is being played, the obvious professionals are sitting this one out; they pace nervously and chainsmoke as they watch the door for the arrival of...THE KING OF BINGO.

EXTERIOR SHOT: STREET
To the tune of the Bee Gees' hit Stayin' Alive, we see a a close-up of a pair of cowboy boots attatched to Wrangler clad legs. The cowboy boots keep perfect time with the song, heel-toe, heel-toe heel-toe. After a few seconds, the camera pans up the legs and we see THE KING OF BINGO making his way down Main Street. THE KING'S face is partially obscured by the mighty bulge in his pants and to accomodate this, the camera pulls back slightly and then we see him...THE KING. He is wearing a dark blue baseball cap, a black t-shirt underneath a black leather jacket, and around his neck is a silver charm that looks like a bingo card. Trailing him is his right hand man and Lt. of the Arkansas Bingo Mafia BIG DADDY. Big Daddy is dressed like Muddy Waters on a smooth day. His eyes constantly move left and right and his hand is never far from the Glock 21 in his belt. A couple steps behind Big Daddy is THE KING'S female posse, all fanning out protectively, like a pack of she-wolves.

THE KING's supremely confident walk draws all eyes to him--women stop dead in their tracks when he passes and he favors some of them with a brief nod. When the group pass a storefront window displaying various baseball caps, THE KING stops and regards them silently. He leans forward and eyes a black San Antonio Spurs cap. He looks at it for a moment longer than looks at Big Daddy and nods. Big Daddy nods back and jerks his chin at one of the posse and she peels off from the group and goes into the store as THE KING and the others resume walking.

STAYIN' ALIVE MUSIC CONTINUES...

INTERIOR SHOT: BINGO HALL
A large bouncer is at the front door letting people in or rejecting them as the case may be. There is a long line to get in and people are starting to get impatient. DENNIS RODMAN and his people push their way to the front of the line but the bouncer stops them before they can get across the threshold.

Rodman: (indignantly) Man, you know who I am?

Bouncer: Yeah. That's why you ain't getting in.

(Rodman and his entourage look at each other in stunned silence. At that moment the crowd parts and THE KING and his posse appear. We can hear the crowd's excited whispering; The King regards Rodman with cross between a smile and a sneer)

Rodman: (awed) It's the damn king...

King: How ya doin'?

Rodman: Good, King, good...

King: Yeah, how 'bout them Bulls, huh? (he smirks and enters the bingo hall, trailed by his posse. Rodman looks at his group)

Rodman: That was the damn King, man. Sheeeit.

INT: BINGO HALL

THE KING and his posse make their way to their normal spot. The King sits and Big Daddy presents him with his customized crushed velvet Bingo box. King opens it and takes out his custom chips. Another posse member gives him his bingo cards. The professionals stub out their cigarettes and quickly take their places at the tables. The atmosphere is electrifying.

The King gets settled to play. A woman approaches him nervously. She clutches her frayed bingo card like a life preserver. Tentatively she holds it out to him.

Woman: Excuse me, but could you...could you sign my card? You are my idol, I love you...Omigod, omigod...

King: (smiles) Sure, baby, what's your name?

Woman: Donna Faye. (he signs the autograph while Donna fans herself tearfully) I just love watching you play bingo...the way you play, the way you cover your numbers, it's just...it's just...I...I...omigod...I can't.. I can't talk...

King: (hands back the card) It's ok, baby, I appreciate it, thank you.

Woman takes the card as though she is accepting a gold bar from Fort Knox and she melts back into the crowd.

The Caller takes his place at the podium and he pulls the mike towards his mouth, sending it into fits of feedback. He reaches into the number container and pulls the first number. With a flourish that suggests great sexual prowess, the King covers his first number. Each number the Caller draws, the King has until, after mere minutes, the King calls out in his rich southern voice:

King: Bingo.

The Hall erupts into excited cheers. The King merely nods and smiles. The night belongs to him. The Hall belongs to him. This is his time. These are his people. He is the Bingo King, ruler of Friday nights at the VFW.

(Camera pans the smoky room and we FADE OUT)

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© 2004 by . . . Like the Wind Productions/Lonesome Rogues Design. This page is intended for entertainment purposes only and is not intended to make a profit. Humor does not reflect the opinions of Billy Bob Thornton or his representatives (although we understand they all have a great sense of humor).