***blah blah blah ..."Millionaire" game show stuff snipped**
Reeg: Sage, your question: What is the difference between a perfume and an eau de toilette?
a) A perfume contains a higher concentrate of oils
b) A perfume is more expensive
c) An eau de toilette is alcohol free
d) An eau de toilette comes in a spray
Sage: Hmmm. Gee Regis, that's a tough one. I think I'm going to have to use one of my lifelines and call my boyfriend Ray.
Reeg: Your boyfriend Ray is an expert in scents is he?
Sage: Ray is an expert in a lot of things, Reeg.
Reeg: Well, let's hope he knows this one because if you get this one right, YOU WILL BE A MILLIONAIRE!
Sage: I have complete confidence in Ray.
**Regis dials Ray. For our benefit there is a split screen and we can see
Ray and whoever he's speaking with**
**ring ring**
Ray: (picks up the phone) What, godbleepit?
Regis: Is this Ray Malcolm?
Ray: Who the bleep wants to know?
Regis: Ray, this is Regis Philbin from So You Want to Be a
Millionaire--your friend Sage...
Ray: Who the bleep is this? Regis? What the bleep kinda bleeped up name is that? Hey, I bet you know that bleep Amélie don't you? What is it with you motherbleeping California bleeps coming up with bleeped up names like bleeping Regis and that bleeped up name Amélie? Bleep!
Sage: Hey baby!
Ray: Sage? Oh, hey honey! Boy, you sure do like hanging around with bleepers with bleeped up names, don't you? When you coming home, anyway?
Sage: Ray, look at me! I'm on the TV!
Ray: (gets the remote) What bleeping channel? You aren't on "COPS" again, are you? (he channel flicks til he finds the program) Oh, ok! I see you! Jesus bleeping Christ, look at that motherbleeper, no wonder his bleeping name is Regis, bleeyup.
Regis: Ray, Sage is using you as her lifeline on this question...now listen carefully: (Regis repeats the question) What is your answer, for ONE MILLION DOLLARS?
Ray: A million dollars? Bleeyup. You keep that bleeping sorrybleep million dollars, me and Sage got us a bigger deal cooking.
Sage: Baby, I just need you to be patient and help me out with this question, OK?
Ray: 'Aight, bleep. Oh, one thing, where the bleep is that bleeping phone book? I gotta call that Syd bleep.
Sage: Well, you used it last, baby.
Ray: I thought I bleeping put it in the bleeping dresser but I guess I'm bleeped. I can't find the bleeper anywhere. Godbleepit.
Sage: When I get home I'll help you look for it, Ray, ok?
Ray: 'Aight, bleeyup. (Slyly) Say, when you get home you think you might wanna, you know, bleep?
Regis: Ray, your time is almost up, what is your answer?
Ray: (angry) Hey! Don't bleeping tell me what the bleep to do you bleeping sorry bleep mother bleeper! I'll slap your godbleep head off, bleep! Bleep bleep bleep bleep!
Sage: Baby, can you tell me the answer?
Ray: Well bleeyup. Ever one knows the answer is a) A godbleep perfume contains a bleeping higher bleeping concentrate of oils. What the bleep is wrong with that motherbleeper Rebleeping whatthebleep asking a bleeped up question like that?
Sage: You sure, Ray?
Ray: Of course I'm sure, baby. (wounded) What the bleep do you think I am?
Sage: OK, thanks honey! See you later!
Ray: 'aight then, bye. (hangs up)
Sage: My answer is A, Regis.
Regis: Are you sure?
Sage: Yes, I'm sure. Ray says it's A, it's A.
Regis: ......THAT'S RIGHT!!!!! YOU'RE OUR NEWEST MILLIONAIRE!!
(The crowd goes wild. Sage blows kisses at the camera.)
Ray: Well ain't that some bleeyup. Now where is that godbleep phonebook, godbleepit.
Next episode: Sage Takes Ray to a China Shop
|
© 2004 by . . . Like the Wind Productions/Lonesome Rogues Design. This page is intended for entertainment purposes only and is not intended to make a profit. Humor does not reflect the opinions of Billy Bob Thornton or his representatives (although we understand they all have a great sense of humor). |
||