Billy Bob Fan Humor

The Adventures of Sage 'n' Ray

 

Sage Takes Ray to Sleepy Hollow

EXT: WOODS

SAGE and RAY are walking down a path in a heavily wooded area. The forest is eerie in its silence; even the wind is quiet. RAY has on his ever present scowl wrapped around a smoked down cigarette. SAGE stops and looks around cautiously.

SAGE: Ray, listen.

RAY: What, g*ddamnit.

SAGE: (urgently) LISTEN.

RAY: I don't hear a f*cking thing.

SAGE: That's just it. It's too quiet. Something is wrong.

RAY: You're damn right something is wrong. I told you I don't like f*cking nature hikes and what do you do, take me on a f*cking nature hike. That's f*cked up.

SAGE: Shhh. (cocks her head)...Listen...what's that sound? (pause) It sounds like...hoofbeats.

RAY: I don't hear a g*ddamn thing.

SAGE: There it goes again! 

(She turns and faces south. About 50 yards away we see the HEADLESS HORSEMAN astride his BLACK STALLION galloping towards SAGE and RAY. The HEADLESS HORSEMAN is waving a wicked looking sword that looks sharp enough to slice through a humid Texas morning...the hoofbeats come closer and closer, the pounding echos in the forest like an other worldly heartbeat. SAGE'S eyes go wide)

SAGE: OMIGOD!! IT'S THE HEADLESS HORSEMAN, RAY!! RUN!!

RAY: Bulls*it I'm going to run...I'm not afraid of no motherf*cking servant of Satan, I'll slap his g*ddamn head off!

SAGE: Ray...he doesn't HAVE a head. That's why he's called the HEADLESS Horseman.

RAY: (pause)...Well, ain't that some sheyut.

CUT.

NEXT EPISODE: "Sage Takes Ray to the Opera"

 

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